I shouldn’t have done that,
I should have pretended not to know
like I didn’t see it, like I couldn’t see it
I shouldn’t have looked at you in the first place
I should have run away
I should have pretended I wasn’t listening
like I didn’t hear it, like I couldn’t hear it
I shouldn’t have heard your love in the first place
Without a word, you made me know what love is
Without a word, you gave me your love
Made me fill myself with your every breath
Then you ran away
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love abandons me
Wondering what to say next
My lips were surprised
It came without a word
Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I can’t see you anymore, and that you’re not here anymore
otherwise, it’ll be just the same like before
Without a word, you made me know what love is
Without a word, you gave me your love
Made me fill myself with your every breath
Then you ran away
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love abandons me
Wondering what to say next
My lips were surprised
Without a word, tears starts falling down
Without a word, my heart is broken
Without a word, I waited for love
Without a word, love hurts me
I’ve become transparent, I’ve become a fool
and I cry just by looking at the sky
Without a word, separation finds me
Without a word, the end comes to me
It tool my heart by surprised
To send you away unexpectedly
It came without a word
Without a word, love appears
Without a word, love vanishes
Like a fever I’ve had, maybe all I have to do is hurt for a while
Because in the end, the only thing that remains are scars
Without a word...
everything become full of emptiness again...
Dear, Sky...
Are you tired of listening to me? Please, don't be. I just have you, no more. I don't know to whom I dropped this tears again.
Sky, I'm scared.
I'm totally scared. I don't want to be alone anymore. This all things make me real comfort. The rain, ground, trees, tears, even drops of blood. Everything! I'm willing to do anything to keep them inside. Keep their safety. Keep their warmth. Because they are too precious for me.
Sky..
I'm falling in love.
But unfortunately... I don't know how to love...
This kind life never taught the way to do, just how hard to do. I've learned the way to be strong, to be brave, to wipe my tears, to build myself by my own, to survive in everything and be hard upon my weakness. But not to love. I'm worry I'll do wrong because I don't understand what to do and what should I do for respectations. Even more, I've ever tought whether this is the way of God to punish me for my sins. Is that funny?
Sky,
Now, I terribly confused. I need all things above, I don't wanna loose them. I've ever lost everything important before, and it's hurt. As sinking deep in a drop of blood, I couldn't open my eyes, my ears, even my mind. I felt like a deaf mute and blind people. I can't use my heart and feeling. It's so dark everywhere. A hard time, horribly hard time.
Now,
Sky,
Would you mind to comfort me again? Not move from there anymore. Catch every dream I throw up. Hug every heart I have. Save my happiness on clouds, trees, road, rocks, night, sun, moon, rain, him, and you.
Keep my love away from weakness, my poor weakness.
Keep everything for me.
Don't release them even a bit.
I'll be there soon.
Sitting beside you.
Sky,
I love them all.
I'm sorry,
I can't loss them anymore...
January 22rd, 2012
12.35 a.m
Today, I found myself in a deep depression. In the night, when I tried to think about life and roses, yes, a red one, which had accompanied my dreams for the last few days. I didn't know what happen, he disappeared without a trace even saying goodbye. Leave me alone again, right here.
I couldn't see the reason he left for me. It's too dark outside, I chose to be silent and wait in the dark. But sank deep inside my heart, I prayed to God that he will come.
Sure, I need someone now. As long as I stayed I was waiting for him to come. Finally I don't care who will come. I need a friend in the dark. I need someone who understand my situation. Although just a dream that comes I will be grateful because I know he won't leave me alone.
God, I miss the sky. Why do You keep the sky away from me? Whether I had made any mistake? Please, give me back my sky. I don't know to whom else should hang this dream. Only this remaining lives who faithfully accompanied my stumbling steps. I feel increasingly fragile without everything around me. I feel completely alone. Please God, bring back the sky to me.
And now, when I realized where I stood, at the peak of my weakest point, I know u'll never come back...
On my own tears,
Wednesday, January 11th 2012
07.00 p.m
If I tightly held your hand with what kind of strength, things like those other people might have been gone for good.
Like not getting wet in the unending rain, shoulder pressed to the way home from that place you disappeared...
Even now, the rain keeps falling on me
As time flows by, my feelings are on the road towards you with the scent of first love. If I could walk towards the deepest part of your heart, with shaking shoulders, I wonder, if we could just meet honestly
If the unending rain could roughly wash away my mistakes, I'd search for the words to reach you...
But even now, the rain keeps falling on me
I can see your face floating behind my eyelids. After the tears, everything about you, I don't want to forget. I can't forget...
Grief is just like this
Like not getting wet in the unending rain, shoulder pressed to the way home from that place you disappeared...
Even now, the rain keeps falling on me
